Well, I'm still writing. Slower than I'd like, and it's this blog's fault. And MySpace. I blame everyone but me.
No, I need to buckle down. I know that. I am going to start GED classes with my Mom soon. I hope adding some structure to my life will help me to get my priorities straight. If I want to make a living as a writer I have to put in the work. Nobody is going to hand my dreams to me on a silver platter or give me a magic computer that will take what I think and write it out for me.
But speaking of computers, I have got to somehow get a laptop. Sitting at the desk kills my back. I got the results of my bone density test today. I was diagnosed with osteoperosis in 2005, I broke my neck and back in 1995, the surgery I had in 2007 seriously mangled my back. I'm a mess. If you want to see why my back is mangled, follow this link: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=422238131&albumID=128570&imageID=429427 insane, huh?! Anyway, my T-score is 2.1 now. That means I'm at high risk for fracture. It means my bones are weak, and sitting here can be torture. Thank God for Vicodin.
So it will be nice when I can get a laptop. Then, if I'm inspired, but in pain, I can recline on the couch and write. The good thing is I know my writing is drastically improving. It's something I can feel as I put it down into written word. The biggest problem I still have is too much "tell," not enough "show." But I'm finally developing my personal voice. I've only been doing this for three years and a half years, so I'm really still a newbie.
But I'm still writing, that's the greatest thing I can personally do for myself. Because I'm someone who always had trouble following through on stuff. It's like, when I drank, I had this switch that would shut me down whenever I got too close to success in anything. Like I felt I didn't deserve to have good things. I have a beautiful wife, a great son, a daughter on the way- now I want to have a career as an author. And I will have it.
And I'm still writing...
One thing I've discovered: no matter how fast I write, I'm always looking toward the next page, the next scene, the next chapter...and therefore I feel like I'm going too slow! But that feeling when you know you're improving--that's the best, right there.
ReplyDeleteYes, please enjoy the good things, and know that you deserve them.
I just printed out the second draft of one of my novels, well, the five chapters I had finished, then deleted the file to start over with a whole different perspective. Since it's not a stagnant rehashing of the first draft it's moving pretty well. I'm only three pages in so far, but hey, I'm hopeful! ;)
ReplyDelete