Four Years

Yesterday, September 29, 2009, I celebrated four years of sobriety. It's great to not have to rely on alcohol to function, and I never thought I would make it this far. But here I am, sober, happy, I pray for many years to come.

Dreams

So I don't have what most people would ever call "good" dreams. Sometimes they're nightmares of the wake up sweaty with your chest pounding variety, sometimes they are just strange, like Willy Wonka invaded my subconscious. I don't know if it got this way after my coma in '07, since it was a chemically-induced coma I did dream the whole time, and they were unimaginable. Terrifying. And maybe one day parts of them will fill in the pages of a best-selling novel.

It does seem like the string of "bad" dreams began after the surgery and coma. Maybe some of it has to do with the medications I'm on, but whatever it is, I don't want to lose it. I like the nightmares. What does that make me? When I wake up from a scary dream and the situation wasn't resolved I want to get back into it. No matter how bad it was. Of course, so far the dreams don't have to do with harm to my family... THAT I wouldn't want to get back to.

Oh well, just musing out loud here.

Back!

Well, I've been on hiatus for a while. The reason, som of you know, was due to my second thoracotomy in two years. Almost two years to the day--the first, to remove scar tissue from my right lung, was 7/23/2007. The second, to remove the lower lobe in the same lung and parts of the other two lungs, was 7/31/2009. So after having close to half my lung removed I've been recovering. The weird part--in the hospital I wrote almost every day, over 3,500 words. Since I've been home I have done less than a thousand. And I was discharged on 8/16/2009. But I am starting to feel a bit more like myself, so hopefully it will pick up. And the good news is, so far, I think there is going to be a lot of benefit from this surgery.